Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. This goes for any kind of mom, working mom, stay at home mom, adopted mom, PTA mom, new mom. It’s all hard and it all requires a plan of action to really get it down pat.
The mama we’re focusing on for today, is the forever strong stay at home mom!
The mom who is home with her kids day after day feeding, cleaning, and playing with them. They’re handling school drop offs, lunches, playdates, and sports. They help with homework, home cooking, managing screen time, and discipline if needed. They give their all for their family but often times, forget about themselves.
If you’ve been stuck in this spot one too many times, then this is the post for you. Here are the 6 tips you need to be a happy and thriving stay at home mom.
1. Schedule Planning.. for the Stay At Home Mom
So first things first, just because you’re at home everyday and might not have projects or deadlines, does not mean that you can skate by without a schedule. This is imperative! Every successful and thriving person has a schedule. And I assure you, if you can’t identify the positive aspects of yours, then you might have some negative routine items in place. Let’s fix that.
Look at your tasks, and identify the main scheduling items you need to get done daily. This includes, bed making, cleaning and organizing, cooking, school pick ups, etc. And if some of these are perhaps weekly and not daily, that’s fine too.
Make your list. Get your items organized.
Now, get a written or virtual schedule in place where you can put these things in your timeline. It is important that it is visual. You will forget a lot of items because you don’t see it written down somewhere. This can be your notepad, ipad, fridge, etc. but make sure you see it A LOT.
Make sure to have it accessible and easy to see.
I know it may seem a little dramatic to write down for example, making the bed. But there is proven science that when you see a task written down and in front of you, you will be more motivated to get it done and out of the way, instead of just having it looming.
This is the same for laundry, getting a workout in, and definitely for playdates and pick ups, which can be easily forgotten.
The more you practice, these items after writing them down, the more of a habit it will become. This will in turn become part of your daily routine!
And this is exactly what we want. We want your schedule to be so common place, that it is routine for you. Of course, there will be those outlier events here and there, but the regular gears should always be moving DAILY.
This will lead to more comfortability in your day with knowing what to expect, and the same for your children as well.
2. Start Your Daily Routine the Night Before!
The next important tip is to actually start your schedule or routine prep the night before. This is not mandatory but definitely helps for smoother morning transitions. And if you have children going off to school in the morning, you definitely want to make it as smooth as possible.
There is nothing like a little preemptive prep session before you go to bed and honestly, this doesn’t have to be more than 10 minutes. That’s really it! Just 10!
With those 10 minutes you can put your child’s clothes out, your clothes out, prep their lunch bags with snacks already, and plan your breakfast meal.
Then, when you wake up in the morning, there is no hassle over clothes or food, lunches are almost packed and you’re good to go! Exciting right?
The rest of the morning you can focus on just getting through your happy daily morning routine such as brushing teeth, making the bed, actually getting dressed, etc. But all those needless decisions or smaller tasks are already done. Your morning just got a whole lot smoother and shorter! Yay!
3. Create Daily Routine Breaks for “ME” Time
Okay, next! This is a very very important tip.. you need to make sure that you schedule some personal time just for yourself. What can happen often is moms whose main role is in the household, will often find remedial tasks to keep yourself busy all day long. It becomes such a problem that you start feeling guilty about down time.
You should be cleaning, or doing laundry while your child is at school, or learning new recipes. All of these things are fine to do, but should never get in the way of your down time. Being a stay at home mom is a real job. It can be the happiest change in your life, but it can also be exhausting.
“Me” time is not a luxury or privilege. It is a necessity. If you want to keep your mental health strong, and in balance, you need to make this a priority.
“Me” time can include self care, it can be hanging out with friends, it can be watching a movie you like or reading a book you’ve kept trying to pick up.
Allow yourself the time to recharge, re-energize, and be the best version of yourself for your family.
If you’re still having trouble, think about it this way, anyone who goes to work gets at least one break a day, if not 2-3. Your job is no different. Bake in those break times for your “me” time.
4. Practice Beating Your Mom Guilt!
Another tip that goes right along with the one above about making yourself a priority, is letting go of the mom guilt. I know I know, easier said than done. But this is a very bad and very strong habit that you need to break immediately.
This falls right in line with perfectionism. Listen, no one is perfect, and definitely no one is perfect at their job. This is your job and you’re working on it. You’re a work in progress and that’s okay! No one is asking you to be perfect. Failures happen, and forgetting your kids homework assignment is not a cause for distress. It will be OK!
And while we’re on this note, please know that your child does not need the latest sneakers, coolest backpack, newest iPhone, and you do not need to be in perfect looking condition at every school drop off. These things are so meaningless and do not mean you are a good or bad mom.
Your job is to love your child, parent your child to the best of your ability, and give yourself grace when things don’t go according to plan. Remember, these are children we’re talking about… not spreadsheets.
So make sure that you don’t let mom guilt get in the way of your parenting. Work to identify your feelings. You’ll be a better mother because of it.
5. Have a Support System in Place- A Friend Group!
One very strong answer to dealing with mom guilt, mom perfectionism and more is making sure you have a very good support system around you. Having a strong friend group is a good place to start and no, they don’t all have to be moms :).
But having friends to reach out to both when you’re doing great and maybe not so great is beneficial in the long run. Your friends can lend an ear when you just need to vent, have fun with when you don’t want to be seen as just a mom, and help you realize that your identity is so much stronger than just being a stay at home mom.
You are an amazing individual, your opinions matter, and your feelings truly do mean something. Friends do all this and more. Honestly, sometimes you just need someone to pull a Chris Jenner and say “you’re doing great sweetie!”.
Being a stay at home mom is hard, and the judgement can be even harder. The lack of adult social interaction is very limiting, and the strains cause your identity to shift each and every day.
So get that group of friends, or family, whichever you like, and let them support you. You create an ecosystem of support for your family each and every day. You deserve the same in return.
6. Get Outside for Fresh Air Daily!
This is by no means the last tip… just the last tip right now. Make sure to get outside every single day, and make it count!
Driving your child to soccer practice does not count. Taking a walk after you eat lunch counts. Picking up your spouse’s dry cleaning does not count, but doing yoga outside in the sunshine counts.
Are you getting it?
There is so much science behind getting fresh air daily and getting in the sunshine daily. We are lacking so much in vitamin D from being inside most of the day that it leads to actual deficiencies in our bodies. This is not okay.
You want to be as strong as you can for your family and for yourself. You want to get through your day feeling happy, balanced, and strong. Being inside too much will lead to a lack of all of that.
You know that tiktok going around right now that says … “going outside on a walk for my stupid mental health” and then shows someone forcing themselves to go outside?
Well yea, that’s one trend you need to get on! Remember that “me” time we chatted about, you can do that with this one for sure.
You will feel physically healthier and stronger. Your mental clarity will enhance, and you’ll want to make better choices for yourself and your family afterwards. This is also a great practice to turn into a habit with your family. Get all the kiddos involved! We’re going outside!
*Summary
Alright moms, there you have it! The 6 top tips for thriving as a stay at home mom!! This year is going by fast, and you need to get on the happy mom train. Do it with your other buddies! We’re all doing it together.
I promise if you practice these tips, hopefully daily, you’ll be shining bright in no time. And if you feel yourself slacking, that’s okay. Like I said, give yourself grace. You can do this. You already are a fantastic mom. Now it’s time to just give yourself a little love too.
And as always, If you have any questions, comments, or ideas please share them in the comments section below with your fellow parents! And definitely subscribe to the newsletter for updates and ongoing happenings at TylekTeaches.com. The subscription link is just on the right hand side of this post. See you there!
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