Alright so we’re going to dive right into this one here. We are not weeks, but months into the stay at home orders. Spring is well underway, and in fact, summer is barking at our doors. The kids are probably going nuts (let’s be honest, we know they are) and all you want to do is lock yourself in the pantry with a bottle of wine and all the leftover snacks your kids haven’t found yet.
Well you know what, it’s time! Get those snacks, grab that glass and let’s get into some really awesome self care tips for every parent.
*What Is Self Care?
First things first, no matter what amazing and relaxing ideas we discuss here, self care will really be whatever tool or activity helps you unwind and destress. It should also help you replenish your energy too.
In fact, that’s all self care really is. It’s something that’s personal to you that helps you take care of yourself (specifically yourself and not others) on a mental, emotional, and physical level.
*Why It’s Important
We also need to discuss why self care is so important. We’ve gone over this in other blog posts too but honestly it needs to be said as often as possible. Self care is taking care of yourself so you can take care of others.
It’s very evident that as parents, you always put your child and family first. But when that happens, sometimes you forget to take care of yourself. That will only lead to a terrible spiral of mom guilt, shaming, and endless states of exhaustion and depression.
I see it on social media all the time! Moms displaying all the wonderful things they do for their families but rarely for themselves. Or at some point the exhaustion sinks in and they just have “one of those days”.
But what if we can do something to negate that? Perhaps you can find a way to strike a balance between being their for your family and also finding consistent time for yourself?
To be honest, thinking that you would be able to go full steam ahead for your kids and never take a moment to breathe is just silly. It’s also not something to be proud of. Finding time for yourself is what you should be showing off. And it will help make you be the best mother or parent you can be.
So let’s see how.
1. Work Self Care Into Your Schedule
The first thing you’re going to want to look at is your schedule. If you don’t have it written down, you might want to, just so you get a really good visual idea of your activities throughout the day.
It will also help you realize what’s necessary and what’s kinda not. Hello more free-time! (Seriously, find a lot of those “kinda not” things and get them off your schedule)
Anyways, I am sure your schedule is chock full of family events such as meal times, kids homeschooling (because we’re still pretty much stuck at home), laundry, homework, etc.
Is there any time in that schedule that you can squeeze like a half hour break for yourself? If you don’t think so then you need to look closer and see what you can delegate to your partner.
You might also want to work in some boundaries for your kids and edit your home structure to give yourself a break too.
I have a wonderful post on just that and can attach it here.
Now, when you think you can make the time, pencil that in. Sometimes it’s easier for us to really understand that we have the time if we visually see it on a schedule.
Maybe there’s pockets of time you didn’t even know you had. That’s what we’re hoping for! Find those pockets and write your name on all of them!! Do It.
2. Find Time Away From the Kids
Next, self care time is going to be “me time” meaning you time. That does not include kids or spouse unless it’s a fun date or something.
This time is meant to be personal. Time to let you rest and recharge, not lay down on the couch for 10 minutes while the kids shout about turning the tv on. This is where those boundaries and strong home structure come in.
You can do it. Say goodbye to hiding in the pantry and find that special space in your house just for you.
Teach the kids it’s mommy time, and do not go back on that. Because the second you teach them not to bother you, but then they do and you respond to their request, they’ll never take you seriously again.
Practice your self care away from the kids and anyone else. You’ll be happy you did. 🙂
3. Find Time For Your Partner
I know this somewhat contradicts what we just discussed above but hear me out. I also said that if you have a fun date planned, that’s some self care too. Especially in times of stress like now, it’s important to reconnect with your partner. So do that!
But keep it fun and light hearted. Maybe order your favorite takeout and pour some wine for when the kids go to sleep. Or watch a movie in bed, or have a late morning wake up on the weekend.
You get the point. Make time for each other to laugh and be in love. But not to discuss finances, school stress, doctor’s appointments, etc. You can do that another time.
4. More Fun Self Care Ideas!
I am going to put some my favorite self care activities here. Some of them may sound pretty simple but definitely give it a try if you’re looking to add something new to your repertoire.
Exercise: Obviously this is a huge one, especially now with everyone promoting at home workouts and things like that. But I can honestly say that as someone who battles pretty significant anxiety, exercise is the main thing that helps me start the day right. And it’s not even a restful practice, but I know if I don’t work out, the nervous energy will spiral into negative thoughts or more. I’d rather get the endorphin rush and feel settled then the opposite.
Read a Book: Find your favorite genre, find a quiet space, and relax. This also helps get me ready for bed since reading can often make me tired. Even on the days that my head is going a hundred miles a minute, reading will help distract and calm my energy.
Podcast: This is similar to reading for me except it doesn’t really get me tired. It is a nice way to help give you a mental break from your days to dos and get some awesome insight into a fun and intelligent discussion.
They also have podcasts for everyone now just like netflix. Everything from Ted Talks, to wellness, to solving crime, to activism, and yes reality tv too. So find whatever helps ease your mind, press play, and have a lay.
Spend time outdoors: I have to say this is a pretty new one for me. I never realized how much being outside was important to me until this lockdown actually occurred. Yes I commuted to work every day and spent time on walks and outings with my friends. But the physical act of being outside is what I missed most during this period. And right now as things start to re-open, being able to get fresh air and sunlight is something I will never take for granted again. Go outside, breathe, and rest.
Indulge in the Fancy Items, like Skincare! So this one might be a little personal since I can be called a skincare fanatic by some. But it’s so nice to buy some fancier products sometimes and indulge a little bit. For some, make up might be more your thing so do that. Or if you’re a bath lover (which I am not), find some really nice bath products and lounge in a bubble bath.
Whatever the medium is for you, it’s time we all pamper ourselves just a bit.
Of course there’s going to be a bunch more and I’d love for you to share those in the comments too so the community can try them out.
And I am going to link my other two posts about self care and getting over mom guilt here that might be helpful to you too.
*Summary
I hope this post helps you feel a little less guilty and a little more able to truly incorporate more self care activities. It’s so important to take care of ourselves, especially during trying times.
And if we want to put our best foot forward, you better be sure that foot is mentally sane, emotionally stable, and physically looking good :).
Take care of yourself and have fun. That’s what your family wants most for you.
And as always, If you have any questions, comments, or ideas please share them in the comments section below with your fellow parents! And definitely subscribe to the newsletter for updates and ongoing happenings at TylekTeaches.com. The subscription link is just on the right hand side of this post.
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